Unofficial Tex Murphy

You may have seen this before, but for those who haven't it's bound to give you a good laugh.

1.) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2.) He who laughs last thinks slowest.

3.) Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4.) Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5.) The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

6.) It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

7.) If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

8.) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

9.) Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

10.) The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.

11.) A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

And finally always remember

12.) When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

I hadn't seen these compiled together. Very funny.

Mr. Thomas Malloy wrote: 1.) Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

That used to be one of my favourite phrases.

Mr. Thomas Malloy wrote:12.) When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

That one is just damn funny!


And here's another for you just for kicks:

Remember when picking up in bars: The odds are good but the goods are odd.

Happy hunting!

-Cub. =o)

Funny