Methods of Madness
Posted: June 03, 2006 • 2:35 am
( Before you read this, let me just say right off the bat .. THIS IS A PARODY! I'm bored, I've been drinking, and I'm feeling creative. In no way is this post meant to be inflammatory. And probably in no way is it creative. Heh. Fair warning. )
First off let me address the subject. The subject means nothing. If anything it was just a little hook to get people to read what it is I'm about to type. And the fact of the matter is, I myself don't even know what I'm about to type. Then again, maybe it's a title that actually defines my state of mind as of late. In any event, it takes all different kinds to make a community, and what this community sadly lacks is, as they say in wrestling terminology, a "heel." This board had a rash of baby face, goody two shoes, "Mission Street" people who need a little bit of that "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" attitude to spice up the atmosphere. So from this point forward, as long as there are no objections, or any kind of legit "heat" towards my words, I'm going to offer up a daily, entertaining (or not), editorial critique of Tex Murphy, the world, and the people who make up this board. And anything else I see fit.
Okay first off let me start off with a fair warning. You may not agree with my views. You may not like then, and some of you might downright vomit, and wretch at the despicable notions that I bring up, and to that I say this. If you, at anytime, feel nauseous, mad, angry, or even confused at the words that I post ... email me, complain, or otherwise, and I will promptly ignore you.
Now, let me begin with something that has been really "grinding my gears" lately, and that's this constant barrage of kindness. Everybody now a day's in an effort to be "politically correct" and kind to their fellow neighboor, have decided that anytime they address somebody, or talk to someone they don't know, or do know for that matter, that they should treat them the way that they would like to be treated. Oh, well make me puke. First off, some people deserve to be flamed. But what I see are thinly veiled attempts at insults, covered up by a last second "just kidding". Or some kind of lame smiley face to make the other party assume you're kidding. What a joke. Some people deserve to have their very likeness posted to a forum, and have derogatory and insulting comments placed right below their very own visage, simply because they are "goody, goody". Nobody likes a pleb. Nobody likes a do gooder who comes on here, posts, and sounds like "Mr. Rogers".
Yes, I'm looking at you Jim the Old Guy. Just who do you think you are? Posting around here like you're supposed to be everyone's "good ole" father figure. I find it pathetic, and disgusting. And I have yet to see one of your posts that didn't have a smiley face. What, are we supposed to belive that you run around constantly, with that very smile plastered on your despicable, obviously horribly ugly visage? I think not. I don't even think you're as old as you tell everybody you are. I truly believe you use the age thing as a "gimmick" to garner sympathy for yourself. Everybody will just say "Awww, he's an old man. That's cute" ... Well I'm not everyone, and I say ... you're pathetic!!
And this leads me to Cubase. Mr. Cubase. The man that derived his name from a piece of software. Who do you think you are??! It's obvious by your constant posts, and your high post count that you think you're some hot shot, board hog. Nobody wants to be in the presence of someone who tries to make himself better than everyone else by posting so much that his post count will never ever be matched. You almost make me want to go and post a bunch of "junk" posts, just to match it, so I can dethrone you from your perch. But instead I sit here, and I watch you and that goody two shoes post, and post and post, and then you based on your post counts actually think you're leaders of our group! HA! You're pathetic!!
Speaking of Leaders ... This brings me to James. Good ole James. The man behind the invention of the Unoffical Tex Murphy Website! What a guy right? Pffff, my left rear end cheek! Where are you at, mr almighty leader? You show up every once in a while, just to post a meaningless paragraph or two about absolutely nothing at all. And yet, you're the moderator of the board, and of the website. Some leader. A true leader sets the standard for his people. He sets the example for the rest of his disciples to follow. And yet, with his lack of posts, what are his followers supposed to believe in? They look to him for guidance, and he abandons them in their time of need. A leader? No. A disgrace? You betcha! HA! You're Pathetic!
Who's next, who's next? Oh I know. Why don't we prey on the women. Jen, Sai, Cyndi ... and a few that I can't remember off the top of my head. What a bunch of losers. Just because you're a female you expect me to treat you with kid gloves, and treat you with respect? HA! Let me tell you something, ladies, you're contribution to this community, while it lends creedence to the fact that not only men partake in the world of Tex Murphy, it also proves a point beyond a shadow of a doubt. You're still geeks. That's right, geeks. You sit on your little computer, and you type your little words, and you post your little girly picture avatars, like that's supposed to impress someone. Well I'm not impressed. As a matter of fact, I'm disgusted at the manner in which you handle yourselves. You ladies are a disgrace to this board, and dare I say, to women everywhere. Ha! You're pathetic!
There are many more names I could name here, but due to the lack of even wanting to continue talking about them, I won't. I'm not going to waste any more of my precious time, talking about the drivel that posts on "MY" message board. They're not even worth my time. However ... someone who is worth my time ...
Aaron Conners. You ... you, out of all the people in the world, are the one to blame. You made Tex Murphy. You created a character, that in turn created this shameful fan base that I'm ashamed to call myself a part of. This is a tragedy on the scale of the "Sonic the Hedgehog message flame wars" of the early 90's. How could you do this? How you could you unleash upon the world, this despicable cast of characters? Fred, Sealunga, Pronk, Jerry Dan, Atomicvegetable ... and the list goes on and on. Why in the world would you allow this abomination of personalities to exsist? I must implore you, in the name of good taste, and in the name of everyone who ever gave a flying fruitpie about the Tex Murphy franchise, to have this community axed. Send them packing. Tell them to go home, there will be no more Tex Murphy, and that they aren't good enough for him anyway. And then, only then, can we share time together, and talk about my talents, and how I will help you develop the characters for your new game. Only then.
This is Malloy, and you've been subjected to Methods of Madness. On my next edition, I'll talk about why The Pandora Directive should have only had one path. And that path should definitly been the Bolevard of Broken dreams. Except, instead of dying, the end should have been Tex, and Regan going off to Bermuda with their boatloads of cash.
Goodbye, pukes. You're Pathetic!
First off let me address the subject. The subject means nothing. If anything it was just a little hook to get people to read what it is I'm about to type. And the fact of the matter is, I myself don't even know what I'm about to type. Then again, maybe it's a title that actually defines my state of mind as of late. In any event, it takes all different kinds to make a community, and what this community sadly lacks is, as they say in wrestling terminology, a "heel." This board had a rash of baby face, goody two shoes, "Mission Street" people who need a little bit of that "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" attitude to spice up the atmosphere. So from this point forward, as long as there are no objections, or any kind of legit "heat" towards my words, I'm going to offer up a daily, entertaining (or not), editorial critique of Tex Murphy, the world, and the people who make up this board. And anything else I see fit.
Okay first off let me start off with a fair warning. You may not agree with my views. You may not like then, and some of you might downright vomit, and wretch at the despicable notions that I bring up, and to that I say this. If you, at anytime, feel nauseous, mad, angry, or even confused at the words that I post ... email me, complain, or otherwise, and I will promptly ignore you.
Now, let me begin with something that has been really "grinding my gears" lately, and that's this constant barrage of kindness. Everybody now a day's in an effort to be "politically correct" and kind to their fellow neighboor, have decided that anytime they address somebody, or talk to someone they don't know, or do know for that matter, that they should treat them the way that they would like to be treated. Oh, well make me puke. First off, some people deserve to be flamed. But what I see are thinly veiled attempts at insults, covered up by a last second "just kidding". Or some kind of lame smiley face to make the other party assume you're kidding. What a joke. Some people deserve to have their very likeness posted to a forum, and have derogatory and insulting comments placed right below their very own visage, simply because they are "goody, goody". Nobody likes a pleb. Nobody likes a do gooder who comes on here, posts, and sounds like "Mr. Rogers".
Yes, I'm looking at you Jim the Old Guy. Just who do you think you are? Posting around here like you're supposed to be everyone's "good ole" father figure. I find it pathetic, and disgusting. And I have yet to see one of your posts that didn't have a smiley face. What, are we supposed to belive that you run around constantly, with that very smile plastered on your despicable, obviously horribly ugly visage? I think not. I don't even think you're as old as you tell everybody you are. I truly believe you use the age thing as a "gimmick" to garner sympathy for yourself. Everybody will just say "Awww, he's an old man. That's cute" ... Well I'm not everyone, and I say ... you're pathetic!!
And this leads me to Cubase. Mr. Cubase. The man that derived his name from a piece of software. Who do you think you are??! It's obvious by your constant posts, and your high post count that you think you're some hot shot, board hog. Nobody wants to be in the presence of someone who tries to make himself better than everyone else by posting so much that his post count will never ever be matched. You almost make me want to go and post a bunch of "junk" posts, just to match it, so I can dethrone you from your perch. But instead I sit here, and I watch you and that goody two shoes post, and post and post, and then you based on your post counts actually think you're leaders of our group! HA! You're pathetic!!
Speaking of Leaders ... This brings me to James. Good ole James. The man behind the invention of the Unoffical Tex Murphy Website! What a guy right? Pffff, my left rear end cheek! Where are you at, mr almighty leader? You show up every once in a while, just to post a meaningless paragraph or two about absolutely nothing at all. And yet, you're the moderator of the board, and of the website. Some leader. A true leader sets the standard for his people. He sets the example for the rest of his disciples to follow. And yet, with his lack of posts, what are his followers supposed to believe in? They look to him for guidance, and he abandons them in their time of need. A leader? No. A disgrace? You betcha! HA! You're Pathetic!
Who's next, who's next? Oh I know. Why don't we prey on the women. Jen, Sai, Cyndi ... and a few that I can't remember off the top of my head. What a bunch of losers. Just because you're a female you expect me to treat you with kid gloves, and treat you with respect? HA! Let me tell you something, ladies, you're contribution to this community, while it lends creedence to the fact that not only men partake in the world of Tex Murphy, it also proves a point beyond a shadow of a doubt. You're still geeks. That's right, geeks. You sit on your little computer, and you type your little words, and you post your little girly picture avatars, like that's supposed to impress someone. Well I'm not impressed. As a matter of fact, I'm disgusted at the manner in which you handle yourselves. You ladies are a disgrace to this board, and dare I say, to women everywhere. Ha! You're pathetic!
There are many more names I could name here, but due to the lack of even wanting to continue talking about them, I won't. I'm not going to waste any more of my precious time, talking about the drivel that posts on "MY" message board. They're not even worth my time. However ... someone who is worth my time ...
Aaron Conners. You ... you, out of all the people in the world, are the one to blame. You made Tex Murphy. You created a character, that in turn created this shameful fan base that I'm ashamed to call myself a part of. This is a tragedy on the scale of the "Sonic the Hedgehog message flame wars" of the early 90's. How could you do this? How you could you unleash upon the world, this despicable cast of characters? Fred, Sealunga, Pronk, Jerry Dan, Atomicvegetable ... and the list goes on and on. Why in the world would you allow this abomination of personalities to exsist? I must implore you, in the name of good taste, and in the name of everyone who ever gave a flying fruitpie about the Tex Murphy franchise, to have this community axed. Send them packing. Tell them to go home, there will be no more Tex Murphy, and that they aren't good enough for him anyway. And then, only then, can we share time together, and talk about my talents, and how I will help you develop the characters for your new game. Only then.
This is Malloy, and you've been subjected to Methods of Madness. On my next edition, I'll talk about why The Pandora Directive should have only had one path. And that path should definitly been the Bolevard of Broken dreams. Except, instead of dying, the end should have been Tex, and Regan going off to Bermuda with their boatloads of cash.
Goodbye, pukes. You're Pathetic!
but could you translate your signature from the original language?
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