( Before you read this, let me just say right off the bat .. THIS IS A PARODY! I'm bored, I've been drinking, and I'm feeling creative. In no way is this post meant to be inflammatory. And probably in no way is it creative. Heh. Fair warning. )
First off let me address the subject. The subject means nothing. If anything it was just a little hook to get people to read what it is I'm about to type. And the fact of the matter is, I myself don't even know what I'm about to type. Then again, maybe it's a title that actually defines my state of mind as of late. In any event, it takes all different kinds to make a community, and what this community sadly lacks is, as they say in wrestling terminology, a "heel." This board had a rash of baby face, goody two shoes, "Mission Street" people who need a little bit of that "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" attitude to spice up the atmosphere. So from this point forward, as long as there are no objections, or any kind of legit "heat" towards my words, I'm going to offer up a daily, entertaining (or not), editorial critique of Tex Murphy, the world, and the people who make up this board. And anything else I see fit.
Okay first off let me start off with a fair warning. You may not agree with my views. You may not like then, and some of you might downright vomit, and wretch at the despicable notions that I bring up, and to that I say this. If you, at anytime, feel nauseous, mad, angry, or even confused at the words that I post ... email me, complain, or otherwise, and I will promptly ignore you.
Now, let me begin with something that has been really "grinding my gears" lately, and that's this constant barrage of kindness. Everybody now a day's in an effort to be "politically correct" and kind to their fellow neighboor, have decided that anytime they address somebody, or talk to someone they don't know, or do know for that matter, that they should treat them the way that they would like to be treated. Oh, well make me puke. First off, some people deserve to be flamed. But what I see are thinly veiled attempts at insults, covered up by a last second "just kidding". Or some kind of lame smiley face to make the other party assume you're kidding. What a joke. Some people deserve to have their very likeness posted to a forum, and have derogatory and insulting comments placed right below their very own visage, simply because they are "goody, goody". Nobody likes a pleb. Nobody likes a do gooder who comes on here, posts, and sounds like "Mr. Rogers".
Yes, I'm looking at you Jim the Old Guy. Just who do you think you are? Posting around here like you're supposed to be everyone's "good ole" father figure. I find it pathetic, and disgusting. And I have yet to see one of your posts that didn't have a smiley face. What, are we supposed to belive that you run around constantly, with that very smile plastered on your despicable, obviously horribly ugly visage? I think not. I don't even think you're as old as you tell everybody you are. I truly believe you use the age thing as a "gimmick" to garner sympathy for yourself. Everybody will just say "Awww, he's an old man. That's cute" ... Well I'm not everyone, and I say ... you're pathetic!!
And this leads me to Cubase. Mr. Cubase. The man that derived his name from a piece of software. Who do you think you are??! It's obvious by your constant posts, and your high post count that you think you're some hot shot, board hog. Nobody wants to be in the presence of someone who tries to make himself better than everyone else by posting so much that his post count will never ever be matched. You almost make me want to go and post a bunch of "junk" posts, just to match it, so I can dethrone you from your perch. But instead I sit here, and I watch you and that goody two shoes post, and post and post, and then you based on your post counts actually think you're leaders of our group! HA! You're pathetic!!
Speaking of Leaders ... This brings me to James. Good ole James. The man behind the invention of the Unoffical Tex Murphy Website! What a guy right? Pffff, my left rear end cheek! Where are you at, mr almighty leader? You show up every once in a while, just to post a meaningless paragraph or two about absolutely nothing at all. And yet, you're the moderator of the board, and of the website. Some leader. A true leader sets the standard for his people. He sets the example for the rest of his disciples to follow. And yet, with his lack of posts, what are his followers supposed to believe in? They look to him for guidance, and he abandons them in their time of need. A leader? No. A disgrace? You betcha! HA! You're Pathetic!
Who's next, who's next? Oh I know. Why don't we prey on the women. Jen, Sai, Cyndi ... and a few that I can't remember off the top of my head. What a bunch of losers. Just because you're a female you expect me to treat you with kid gloves, and treat you with respect? HA! Let me tell you something, ladies, you're contribution to this community, while it lends creedence to the fact that not only men partake in the world of Tex Murphy, it also proves a point beyond a shadow of a doubt. You're still geeks. That's right, geeks. You sit on your little computer, and you type your little words, and you post your little girly picture avatars, like that's supposed to impress someone. Well I'm not impressed. As a matter of fact, I'm disgusted at the manner in which you handle yourselves. You ladies are a disgrace to this board, and dare I say, to women everywhere. Ha! You're pathetic!
There are many more names I could name here, but due to the lack of even wanting to continue talking about them, I won't. I'm not going to waste any more of my precious time, talking about the drivel that posts on "MY" message board. They're not even worth my time. However ... someone who is worth my time ...
Aaron Conners. You ... you, out of all the people in the world, are the one to blame. You made Tex Murphy. You created a character, that in turn created this shameful fan base that I'm ashamed to call myself a part of. This is a tragedy on the scale of the "Sonic the Hedgehog message flame wars" of the early 90's. How could you do this? How you could you unleash upon the world, this despicable cast of characters? Fred, Sealunga, Pronk, Jerry Dan, Atomicvegetable ... and the list goes on and on. Why in the world would you allow this abomination of personalities to exsist? I must implore you, in the name of good taste, and in the name of everyone who ever gave a flying fruitpie about the Tex Murphy franchise, to have this community axed. Send them packing. Tell them to go home, there will be no more Tex Murphy, and that they aren't good enough for him anyway. And then, only then, can we share time together, and talk about my talents, and how I will help you develop the characters for your new game. Only then.
This is Malloy, and you've been subjected to Methods of Madness. On my next edition, I'll talk about why The Pandora Directive should have only had one path. And that path should definitly been the Bolevard of Broken dreams. Except, instead of dying, the end should have been Tex, and Regan going off to Bermuda with their boatloads of cash.
Goodbye, pukes. You're Pathetic!
First off let me address the subject. The subject means nothing. If anything it was just a little hook to get people to read what it is I'm about to type. And the fact of the matter is, I myself don't even know what I'm about to type. Then again, maybe it's a title that actually defines my state of mind as of late. In any event, it takes all different kinds to make a community, and what this community sadly lacks is, as they say in wrestling terminology, a "heel." This board had a rash of baby face, goody two shoes, "Mission Street" people who need a little bit of that "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" attitude to spice up the atmosphere. So from this point forward, as long as there are no objections, or any kind of legit "heat" towards my words, I'm going to offer up a daily, entertaining (or not), editorial critique of Tex Murphy, the world, and the people who make up this board. And anything else I see fit.
Okay first off let me start off with a fair warning. You may not agree with my views. You may not like then, and some of you might downright vomit, and wretch at the despicable notions that I bring up, and to that I say this. If you, at anytime, feel nauseous, mad, angry, or even confused at the words that I post ... email me, complain, or otherwise, and I will promptly ignore you.
Now, let me begin with something that has been really "grinding my gears" lately, and that's this constant barrage of kindness. Everybody now a day's in an effort to be "politically correct" and kind to their fellow neighboor, have decided that anytime they address somebody, or talk to someone they don't know, or do know for that matter, that they should treat them the way that they would like to be treated. Oh, well make me puke. First off, some people deserve to be flamed. But what I see are thinly veiled attempts at insults, covered up by a last second "just kidding". Or some kind of lame smiley face to make the other party assume you're kidding. What a joke. Some people deserve to have their very likeness posted to a forum, and have derogatory and insulting comments placed right below their very own visage, simply because they are "goody, goody". Nobody likes a pleb. Nobody likes a do gooder who comes on here, posts, and sounds like "Mr. Rogers".
Yes, I'm looking at you Jim the Old Guy. Just who do you think you are? Posting around here like you're supposed to be everyone's "good ole" father figure. I find it pathetic, and disgusting. And I have yet to see one of your posts that didn't have a smiley face. What, are we supposed to belive that you run around constantly, with that very smile plastered on your despicable, obviously horribly ugly visage? I think not. I don't even think you're as old as you tell everybody you are. I truly believe you use the age thing as a "gimmick" to garner sympathy for yourself. Everybody will just say "Awww, he's an old man. That's cute" ... Well I'm not everyone, and I say ... you're pathetic!!
And this leads me to Cubase. Mr. Cubase. The man that derived his name from a piece of software. Who do you think you are??! It's obvious by your constant posts, and your high post count that you think you're some hot shot, board hog. Nobody wants to be in the presence of someone who tries to make himself better than everyone else by posting so much that his post count will never ever be matched. You almost make me want to go and post a bunch of "junk" posts, just to match it, so I can dethrone you from your perch. But instead I sit here, and I watch you and that goody two shoes post, and post and post, and then you based on your post counts actually think you're leaders of our group! HA! You're pathetic!!
Speaking of Leaders ... This brings me to James. Good ole James. The man behind the invention of the Unoffical Tex Murphy Website! What a guy right? Pffff, my left rear end cheek! Where are you at, mr almighty leader? You show up every once in a while, just to post a meaningless paragraph or two about absolutely nothing at all. And yet, you're the moderator of the board, and of the website. Some leader. A true leader sets the standard for his people. He sets the example for the rest of his disciples to follow. And yet, with his lack of posts, what are his followers supposed to believe in? They look to him for guidance, and he abandons them in their time of need. A leader? No. A disgrace? You betcha! HA! You're Pathetic!
Who's next, who's next? Oh I know. Why don't we prey on the women. Jen, Sai, Cyndi ... and a few that I can't remember off the top of my head. What a bunch of losers. Just because you're a female you expect me to treat you with kid gloves, and treat you with respect? HA! Let me tell you something, ladies, you're contribution to this community, while it lends creedence to the fact that not only men partake in the world of Tex Murphy, it also proves a point beyond a shadow of a doubt. You're still geeks. That's right, geeks. You sit on your little computer, and you type your little words, and you post your little girly picture avatars, like that's supposed to impress someone. Well I'm not impressed. As a matter of fact, I'm disgusted at the manner in which you handle yourselves. You ladies are a disgrace to this board, and dare I say, to women everywhere. Ha! You're pathetic!
There are many more names I could name here, but due to the lack of even wanting to continue talking about them, I won't. I'm not going to waste any more of my precious time, talking about the drivel that posts on "MY" message board. They're not even worth my time. However ... someone who is worth my time ...
Aaron Conners. You ... you, out of all the people in the world, are the one to blame. You made Tex Murphy. You created a character, that in turn created this shameful fan base that I'm ashamed to call myself a part of. This is a tragedy on the scale of the "Sonic the Hedgehog message flame wars" of the early 90's. How could you do this? How you could you unleash upon the world, this despicable cast of characters? Fred, Sealunga, Pronk, Jerry Dan, Atomicvegetable ... and the list goes on and on. Why in the world would you allow this abomination of personalities to exsist? I must implore you, in the name of good taste, and in the name of everyone who ever gave a flying fruitpie about the Tex Murphy franchise, to have this community axed. Send them packing. Tell them to go home, there will be no more Tex Murphy, and that they aren't good enough for him anyway. And then, only then, can we share time together, and talk about my talents, and how I will help you develop the characters for your new game. Only then.
This is Malloy, and you've been subjected to Methods of Madness. On my next edition, I'll talk about why The Pandora Directive should have only had one path. And that path should definitly been the Bolevard of Broken dreams. Except, instead of dying, the end should have been Tex, and Regan going off to Bermuda with their boatloads of cash.
Goodbye, pukes. You're Pathetic!
I'm not fat ... I'm festively plump.
Family Guy humor... 
You know what really grinds my gears? People who parody, and people who generalize! HA! You're pathetic!
...you're pathetic... yeah... that's right...
-Fred
You know what really grinds my gears? People who parody, and people who generalize! HA! You're pathetic!
...you're pathetic... yeah... that's right...
-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
(Since I don't know how to make a quote, I'll just quote what Malloy said.)
Malloy said: " How could you do this? How you could you unleash upon the world, this despicable cast of characters? Fred, Sealunga, Pronk, Jerry Dan, Atomicvegetable ... and the list goes on and on."
And then, to completely destroy a quote and a good line by Harvey Keitel:
"Just because I *have* character doesn't mean I *am* a character!"
(Pulp Fiction)
-Fred
PS: If anyone can teach me how to make quotes, it's much appreciated! Thanks!
Malloy said: " How could you do this? How you could you unleash upon the world, this despicable cast of characters? Fred, Sealunga, Pronk, Jerry Dan, Atomicvegetable ... and the list goes on and on."
And then, to completely destroy a quote and a good line by Harvey Keitel:
"Just because I *have* character doesn't mean I *am* a character!"
(Pulp Fiction)
-Fred
PS: If anyone can teach me how to make quotes, it's much appreciated! Thanks!
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
Oh, and as an addendum, speaking of people who are complete rude bastards who will speak the Truth, No Matter What - I am a MAJOR fan of Spider Jerusalem. (Transmetropolitan, Warren Ellis).
-Fred
-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
After reading the sporadic and yet highly entertaining responses to my last column, I, the everlasting, and completely truthful Malloy have decided to discontinue my project, even now in its infancy.
I have come to the disturbing conclusion that you people actually garnered some kind of entertainment to my works, instead of feeling the rage that should have been invoked in you. Although I am not surprised by this strange twist of events, I can say that I am disappointed. Mr. Old Guy, you even managed to put in a few smiley faces just to spite me.
My words, and views are not good enough for you people to lay your eyes upon. I am the everlasting gobstopper of entertaining prose, and for you to actually spout joy at my venomous dialouge ... it says a lot of humanity in general, but it also offends me to no end.
You people sicken me. You disgust me. My very idea of humanity has been shredded into this sickly sweet twisted version of some kind of "Barney" the Dinosaur TV show, where everyone is happy, and jumping up and down singing some demented song. I despise happiness.
But most of all I despise you.
( Oh boy, was I lit when I wrote that. And now continuing it, I find myself enjoying it just a little too much ... )
I have come to the disturbing conclusion that you people actually garnered some kind of entertainment to my works, instead of feeling the rage that should have been invoked in you. Although I am not surprised by this strange twist of events, I can say that I am disappointed. Mr. Old Guy, you even managed to put in a few smiley faces just to spite me.
My words, and views are not good enough for you people to lay your eyes upon. I am the everlasting gobstopper of entertaining prose, and for you to actually spout joy at my venomous dialouge ... it says a lot of humanity in general, but it also offends me to no end.
You people sicken me. You disgust me. My very idea of humanity has been shredded into this sickly sweet twisted version of some kind of "Barney" the Dinosaur TV show, where everyone is happy, and jumping up and down singing some demented song. I despise happiness.
But most of all I despise you.
( Oh boy, was I lit when I wrote that. And now continuing it, I find myself enjoying it just a little too much ... )
I'm not fat ... I'm festively plump.
Mr. Thomas Malloy wrote: This is Malloy, and you've been subjected to Methods of Madness. On my next edition, I'll talk about why The Pandora Directive should have only had one path. And that path should definitly been the Bolevard of Broken dreams. Except, instead of dying, the end should have been Tex, and Regan going off to Bermuda with their boatloads of cash.
Actually...as Cartman might have said....that would be a "hella cool" ending.
How do u dare abusing my name for your delirum boozing rantings wink wink.Mr. Thomas Malloy wrote:Pronk
OK there are 3 ways or use :Fred Buer wrote:PS: If anyone can teach me how to make quotes, it's much appreciated! Thanks!
1. the Quote butten while in add new reply, and put what u want to quote in between.
2. use the tags
Code: Select all
[quote="Mr. Thomas Malloy"] [/quote] 3. or use the QUOTE butten while reading forums top right of a mesage is a quote butten that opens up a new reply starting with the mesage u are quoring.
No im just ansering fred but i could not resist taking the mickey our of "Malloy" boy
It's a monologue, not a dialouge. If you're gonna be a fountain of poison and filth, make sure you do it right, or else it's meaningless. You know, meaningless. Like your life is. Don't quit your dayjob. Oh that's right, you don't have one. Well that sure is tough. Tough luck, I mean. Now that you have no life you must spew evil words on ours, is that it? You grind my gears, puke. You're pathetic. Yeah...Flame Brain wrote: I am the everlasting gobstopper of entertaining prose, and for you to actually spout joy at my venomous dialouge
-Fred
Pirates, vampires, zombies, ninjas, ghouls, aliens, goblins, monsters, robots, sorcerers, undead, werewolves, demons, mutated dinosaur-cyborgs and those pesky phone salesmen! The shotgun is a one-size-fits-all solution!
[quote="Fred Buer"][/quote]
You know, meaningless. Like your life is. Don't quit your dayjob. Oh that's right, you don't have one. Well that sure is tough. Tough luck, I mean. Now that you have no life you must spew evil words on ours, is that it? You grind my gears, puke. You're pathetic. Yeah...
That's funny stuff Fred. I was thinking about posting the same thing. But...you know...being a disgrace to my gender and all......
PS Fred...I know I'm college educated...not just a blue collar out of work truck driver or any such trash like that,
but could you translate your signature from the original language?
You know, meaningless. Like your life is. Don't quit your dayjob. Oh that's right, you don't have one. Well that sure is tough. Tough luck, I mean. Now that you have no life you must spew evil words on ours, is that it? You grind my gears, puke. You're pathetic. Yeah...
That's funny stuff Fred. I was thinking about posting the same thing. But...you know...being a disgrace to my gender and all......
PS Fred...I know I'm college educated...not just a blue collar out of work truck driver or any such trash like that,
but could you translate your signature from the original language?
Wow... looks like somebody didn't get enough fibre in his breakfast this morning. 
Thoroughly entertaining. But I could not just stand back and do nothing
:
Having just been exposed to Mr. Thomas Malloy's deranged rodomontades, I ponder how best to express my disgust at Thomas's total lack of sensitivity and reasoning. Here's my side of the story: The main dissensus between me and Thomas is that I claim that Thomas's subordinates always show a streak of cruelty that enables them to find pleasure in their destructiveness. He, on the other hand, contends that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. If he had done his homework, he'd know that he contends that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people and that, therefore, the laws of nature don't apply to him. This bizarre pattern of thinking leads to strange conclusions. For example, it convinces sinister adulterers (as distinct from the destructive, shambolic carpers who prefer to chirrup while hopping from cloud to cloud in Nephelococcygia) that without Thomas's superior guidance, we will go nowhere. In reality, contrariwise, we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about Thomas's domineering intimations. For starters, let's say that "sexism" is "that which makes Thomas yearn to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt an unbridled lifestyle." Thomas is stepping over the line when he attempts to court a politically incorrect minority of foolhardy knuckleheads -- way over the line. He fervently believes that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less brainless than Thomas. Rhetoric aside, I have begged his surrogates to step forth and take advantage of a rare opportunity to open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Thomas might retaliate? There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question, but consider this: It has been said that I clearly don't want to have to listen to Thomas's brutish billingsgate. I myself believe that to be true. I also believe that if you've never seen him replace our timeless traditions with his catty, scary ones, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. I don't normally want to expose anyone to rigorous sarcasm, satire and disdain, but Thomas definitely deserves it. He has warned us that one of these days, hate-filled witlings will fill our children's minds with picayunish and debasing superstitions. If you think about it, you'll realize that his warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to point out that the emperor has no clothes on. I recently overheard a couple of blathering hermits say that hidebound, stolid racketeers make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Thomas-induced era of slogans and propaganda. To end on a more positive note: Those who establish tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion must be held accountable for their actions.
-Cub. =o)
Thoroughly entertaining. But I could not just stand back and do nothing
:Having just been exposed to Mr. Thomas Malloy's deranged rodomontades, I ponder how best to express my disgust at Thomas's total lack of sensitivity and reasoning. Here's my side of the story: The main dissensus between me and Thomas is that I claim that Thomas's subordinates always show a streak of cruelty that enables them to find pleasure in their destructiveness. He, on the other hand, contends that every word that leaves his mouth is teeming with useful information. If he had done his homework, he'd know that he contends that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people and that, therefore, the laws of nature don't apply to him. This bizarre pattern of thinking leads to strange conclusions. For example, it convinces sinister adulterers (as distinct from the destructive, shambolic carpers who prefer to chirrup while hopping from cloud to cloud in Nephelococcygia) that without Thomas's superior guidance, we will go nowhere. In reality, contrariwise, we should agree on definitions before saying anything further about Thomas's domineering intimations. For starters, let's say that "sexism" is "that which makes Thomas yearn to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt an unbridled lifestyle." Thomas is stepping over the line when he attempts to court a politically incorrect minority of foolhardy knuckleheads -- way over the line. He fervently believes that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible. This shows that he is not merely mistaken about one little fact among millions of facts but that if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I'd be no less brainless than Thomas. Rhetoric aside, I have begged his surrogates to step forth and take advantage of a rare opportunity to open students' eyes, minds, hearts, and souls to the world around them. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Thomas might retaliate? There aren't enough hours in the day to fully answer that question, but consider this: It has been said that I clearly don't want to have to listen to Thomas's brutish billingsgate. I myself believe that to be true. I also believe that if you've never seen him replace our timeless traditions with his catty, scary ones, you're either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself. I don't normally want to expose anyone to rigorous sarcasm, satire and disdain, but Thomas definitely deserves it. He has warned us that one of these days, hate-filled witlings will fill our children's minds with picayunish and debasing superstitions. If you think about it, you'll realize that his warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to point out that the emperor has no clothes on. I recently overheard a couple of blathering hermits say that hidebound, stolid racketeers make the best scout leaders and schoolteachers. Here, again, we encounter the blurred thinking that is characteristic of this Thomas-induced era of slogans and propaganda. To end on a more positive note: Those who establish tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion must be held accountable for their actions.
-Cub. =o)