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Weight loss and attractiveness

Topic for philosophical discussion.

Take a minute to Google Lindita Hamini. She lost 150 pounds as part of her preparation to audition for American Idol. Her "after" pics are smoking, blazing hot. It made me question, would a guy who didn't even notice her when she was fat deserve to get to date her now?

Less than a month later, I found myself on the other side of the coin when my wife dumped me. Among a plethera of emotions was fear at how slim my dating options would be as a nerdy 43-year-old single father who weighs 270 (and it was ALL fat). I used it as motivation to get my body in shape, feeling otherwise I was going to be single for the rest of my life.

Would a woman who wouldn't even notice me at 270 deserve to date me at 210 and in tennis-player-fit shape? Who knows. The more important question for me would be, would I CARE??? And frankly, I probably wouldn't! If anything I'd worry about what would happen if I lost my discipline and gained the weight back.

Regardless, losing a LOT of weight *and* getting into actual fit shape takes a dedication, sacrifice and self-discipline that is just astronomical. And to KEEP it off is even HARDER! Lindita deserves HEAVY praise for what she accomplished.

Thoughts welcome.
DTXCF
So do you. Could care less about tv sideshow stuff. Real people matter more. Congratulations on the weight loss and boosted health. Sorry your wife left you, but it would appear that you're better off, since you focused a bit on your inner self and what it is that makes a person a happy soul. Well done. :)

I've always been of the camp that says to know yourself well, means you'll be more in tune with someone who will love you back, for who you are inside.
One Mean, Green-Eyed Fitch.
Nice work losing the weight. The most important thing is for people in a relationship to understand and care about each other, regardless of physical appearance. OK, sex, like most physical activities, is better if the people involved are in good physical condition, but a relationship is a lot more than sex.
Apologies for the omissions and misunderstandings: I haven't lose 60 pounds *yet* - I'm still working on it. I've "only" lost about 15.

The day my wife dumped me I immediately started dieting and working out (even hired a personal trainer), and after a month, she took me back. Coincidence? Who knows. We are still back together and I'm still working out and dieting (because I liked the change and don't want to go back to the way I was!!!!!). I'm down to about 250.

The reason I mentioned 210 is because it's my goal - I want to start playing tennis again, but I have bad knees to begin with and being 43, it's wwwwwwaaaaaaaayyyyy too much to ask of my knees to carry 270 pounds all over the court, so I'm going to wait until I'm down to 210 to start again.
Well, that's interesting news.

As to the reason you're back together, you should talk to her about it. This is the kind of thing couples really need to discuss. Get it out in the open; talk about it. That's my philosophy anyway. It seems to be working for my wife and me: we've been married 34 years.
Congrats on 34 years - we're 20 years behind you :).

She made it clear that she does NOT want me fat. I have mixed feelings about that. One on hand, her love for me should be unconditional - what if I get injured or sick, can't work out and put the pounds back on? What then?

On the other hand, my wife is an unbelievably beautiful woman herself who I'm proud to show off, so I could argue I should do the same for her, i.e. allow *her* to show *me* off. My weight was also affecting my health - my knees are just the beginning.

And can I honestly say I wouldn't love her any less or show her off any less if she gained 40 pounds? (I say 40 pounds because I was 40 pounds heavier the day she dumped me than I was the day we met). I don't know. I want to believe the answer is yes, but I don't know.

I'm kind of taking a mentality of, use it as a positive, use it as motivation, thank the hell out of her when I'm back on the tennis court, thank the hell out of her when I'm 65 and don't need to use a wheelchair yada yada yada.
Hmm.. well, okay then. I'm still sticking with my comments.

My own husband is overweight. Yes, I wished he'd drop some of it as it would make him feel better. But I can say that about myself, too.

But I've never changed how I feel about him since I met him. Outside appearances are just icing on a rich cake that is the mind and spirit of a person. And I love cake. :)
One Mean, Green-Eyed Fitch.
I do find the "showing her off" statement a little disturbing. I worry that you and your wife aren't looking into your relationship deeply enough. However, only the 2 of you can work that out. I wish you the best of luck with it.