;)

*Seductively places hotel key into Fred's pocket*

Is it hot in here, or is it just you two?

Scandal! I can understand spambots making out in some recessed corner of the messageboard, exchanging "hot links", clicking one another's URLs and all. I can even imagine bona fide members being enticed by a suggestive spambot's offerings. But Fred...freepizza...? That's like snogging your sister!

There was copious amounts of alcohol involved last night. I even remember making the post, vaguely.

I'm fairly certain it was both platonic and sincere, however.

-Fred

Jerry Dan wrote:Scandal! I can understand spambots making out in some recessed corner of the messageboard, exchanging "hot links", clicking one another's URLs and all. I can even imagine bona fide members being enticed by a suggestive spambot's offerings. But Fred...freepizza...? That's like snogging your sister!

That was hilarious Mr. Dan sir.

It just occurred to me. I love you all too! And I'm not even intoxicated. When I actually feel guilty for forgetting to check the board, that is love.

On an unrelated side note, I found out today that I am insane. Not cuckoo, run around and drool insane, and not homicidal insane either. Just ... insane. I don't function like a normal human being. I'm more compassionate than my friends. I don't think it's *funny* to make fun of others to the point that they feel bad about themselves. I don't steal things because I know I can get away with it. I don't take advantage of others. I am not a womanizer, and still believe in chivalry. I don't try to be the alpha male in a pack of males. I'm not an arrogant idiot who thinks my ideas are the only ones that should ever be implemented. And I don't fricken abuse animals, because I'm bigger and I can.

Everybody I hang out with does. And hence, I must be insane.

Sometimes I think the only people who are left in the world with a bit of goodness in them is on here. I swear to god, I don't see it anywhere else. Even if it's in text. Any other message board, there is always the jerk. In real life, it's all about the "alpha male" ...

God I should have stayed in school. Now I'm forever stricken to hang out with the lowest common denomination of life, for the rest of mine.

And I'm insane.

But I love you guys.

Seriously, it's never too late to get back into higher learning. Or to get another career. I was sad to find out that you quit driving. It's a solitary job, but at least it seemed to pay well enough so that you could live well, or sock $$ away for trying something different. Some folks can thrive in a high pressure service enviroment, but man, the pay there's pretty abysmal.

I went back to school at 33.
I'm sure some others more wise than myself, and of course older could give you similar tales.

You're right about this being one of the last havens of civilized discourse on a web forum. I lurk on one or two other boards....and man, they are vicious. Little camps, constantly sniping at one another. I think we're smart enough to self police ourselves to the point where massive wars don't erupt. Although we have had our moments in the past eh?????

You're not insane. You've just reached a level of awareness that pulls you out of your current "matrix". So now that you see it....what are you going to do about it???

I love you guys here, I really do. I wish there was more I could do to contribute to the board.
If anyone has any idears, let me know.

But for now, I guess I'll just pass out a big group hug.
((((boardies)))))

He pulled a Cub!

-Cub. =o)

Let me join the group hug!!!

Jen wrote:Seriously, it's never too late to get back into higher learning. Or to get another career. I was sad to find out that you quit driving. It's a solitary job, but at least it seemed to pay well enough so that you could live well, or sock $$ away for trying something different. Some folks can thrive in a high pressure service enviroment, but man, the pay there's pretty abysmal.

I went back to school at 33.
I'm sure some others more wise than myself, and of course older could give you similar tales.

You're right about this being one of the last havens of civilized discourse on a web forum. I lurk on one or two other boards....and man, they are vicious. Little camps, constantly sniping at one another. I think we're smart enough to self police ourselves to the point where massive wars don't erupt. Although we have had our moments in the past eh?????

You're not insane. You've just reached a level of awareness that pulls you out of your current "matrix". So now that you see it....what are you going to do about it???

I love you guys here, I really do. I wish there was more I could do to contribute to the board.
If anyone has any idears, let me know.

But for now, I guess I'll just pass out a big group hug.
((((boardies)))))

Thanks for the words of encouragement but here is the problem. I don't even wanna anymore. The idea of going back to school, and doing that kind of grind just doesn't appeal to me at all. I have a base intelligence level, but anything else that is new, when it comes to learning ... if it isn't coming from the history channel, I just can't get interested. So basically I'm a chump for complaining about something I could fix, but don't because I'm too lazy.

I still look at my commercial driving license and sigh often. I have it, and don't use it. But I don't want to either. I lost my wanna. It's depressing.

And you're right about the pay being abysmal. I won't even tell you how I supplement the income to survive, because, hey I'm not too proud of it, but suffice it to say, I get by pretty good. It's just because of the business I'm in, and the lifestyle I lead outside of work, I surround myself with the cesspool of life. I always have, actually, even in school. I'm drawn inexplicably to the dredge of life for my community of friends. Perhaps it's because being around everyone else who is like that makes me feel better about myself, because I'm not "that bad".

I sometimes wonder if I don't really have some deep seeded emotional issues. But every time I say that, I always have someone tell me I'm just looking for attention, and I shrug my shoulders. But what if I do?

I've lost the ability to want to better myself.

And I sound like a jerk right about now, ugh.

Some people like to go to school, other don't. And if you're the kind of person that doesn't then you just have to care about yourself enough to make yourself go. If it's hard then you know you should probably do it, Malloy you have to realize that you deserve it. You may not feel like it all the time, or ever, but you deserve everything you can get. For all the reasons you explained, you need to go to school whether you want to or not. Just because you deserve it.

Damn it Malloy, Michael, whatever. Maybe it's not that you're lazy. Maybe it's cause you're scared. Afraid to take a chance because you think you might fail, or that what you've got around you is shitty, but comfortable, and the thought of rocking that familar...albiet, slowly sinking boat is too terrifying to think about. So you don't. Bury yourself back into Warcrack, or halo, or some such stuff, only enough to surface for a bit and whine about how your life should be better than this.

It's because I sincerely care about you, that I bring this up. Believe me, there's a part of all of us that just wants to say "not my problem" and move on. But I do.

And if you're doing something ridiclious, like dealing, I'm just as likely as not to fly out there and kick your ass. You're funny, intelligent, and compassionate, and damn well deserve more from yourself.

...end rant.....for now.

The Jen-Master has spoken. Amen from TOG.

I just want to say that almost 99% of the time, the reason why people aren't happy is due to a confidence issue. If someone attacks you, they are doing it because they themselves feel threatened by you so they fire the first shot which can be crippling unless you've got a confident attitude. If you can say that you are the best person you can be, that you deserve a good life and that no one is going to stand in your way of being happy under any circumstances then that is a power that will eventually reward you.

There is a reason why jerks are rich and powerful.. it's because they've learned to be confident, it has nothing to do with ethics or background.. and everything to do with how you present yourself.

The best thing you can do for yourself is stop thinking their is something wrong with you.. there isn't.. you're just trying to improve yourself.. better yourself which is every humans goal in life, this is what school is suppose to teach you but the teachers are soo.. err up them selves that they neglect to tell you the vital secrets of life.

If people push you down, you get back up, you keep fighting the urge to just let go. Your ambitions are the greatest strength you have.

And if you think you have a problem.. you do.. because you are thinking about your problems, that is why people develop depression. If you can keep a smile on your face and just forget about your flaws.. then great. You don't have to be arrogant, don't assume every confident person is arrogant.. because arrogant is actually a weakness, its them basically acting on impulse and resorting to underhanded methods because they have some major flaws in their personality and must therefore make up for this lack. (some use Money, possessions and in some cases even education to make them selves "better" than you.. This means NOTHING!)

No one is better than anyone else, we're all mortals, we all die and there is no escaping that similarity.. God sorts us all out the same way.. therefore there is no better or worse.

Now I'm not saying walk all over people, I'm saying be true to yourself and prove to the world that you are perfectly capable at being the best person you can be because if you can't say that you are then you won't make it in the real world.

This is how the arrogant bastards get their power see. You don't have to act like a bastard to be confident, you just have to know that no one in the world is going to tell you how to live or push you around.

I hope my words of advice help Malloy. You are a great guy and again I think the issue here is a lack of confidence in yourself. Going back to school is a debatable move as it can make you confident but it can also utterly destroy your personality.

Which is another issue too. Try to develop a personality that everyone universally can accept, be the guy that can just talk to anyone and have a lot of interesting/fun things to say. I think if you can manage that you'll be making yourself significantly happier, as friends are good support. And also never be too afraid to talk about your problems, but make sure you are talking to people who you've established not only a trust with but also some kind of leverage that would avoid them from "leaking" information out to potential hostiles.

I hope my help has been detailed and enlightening for you, I wish you the best of luck with the future and hope you see some opportunities soon.