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Post subject: Unauthorized Tex Murphy Radio Theatre Episode 7
Post Posted: Nov 03, 2006 5:18 am
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Joined: Nov 01, 2006 2:58 am
Posts: 62

I was tooling around in my old computer and found this little gem. I couldn't find the old boards anywhere, or at least, I couldn't connect to the links I had found, so, since it isn't currently available, I thought I'd re-up it. So here it is, my version of what I think happens next. I hope those of you who have read it get a good chuckle, and that those of you who haven't read it enjoy this fun trip through my imagination.

Tex Murphy Radio Theatre Episode 7:
From Russia With Slight Affection

Unauthorized, written by Aaron Randolph

(soft jazz on trumpet)

Announcer: Welcome to Tex Murphy Radio Theatre! When we last left our hero, he'd traveled to Las Vegas in search of Chelsee's brother Chance only to find a Greek casino owner named Kazistanis, who claimed Chance owed him an artifact of some kind and would trade it for Chelsee. With Tex's only other option being paying the man $600,000, Tex steps into a cab. As it speeds away from the casino, the driver knocks on the separator. Tex obligingly rolls it down, and is given a cryptic message.

Cab Driver: "The thing you're looking for? Everyone looking for it. It's in the possession of the Armageddonists. But I'm telling you now, they would give it up to get their hands on YOU."

Tex: "Why would they want me?"

Cab Driver: "It's not you they want. It's who you WERE."

Tex: Well, this was just great. Story of my life, really. Somebody else has the girl, and nobody wants ME. Well, not the real me, apparently. Unless you count the police. And those people who'd imprisoned me for a month. And also the Armageddonists. Okay, so maybe it's nothing like the story of my life.

Tex: I puzzled out the cabbie's meaning for a second, then opened the door and got out. I walked to the driver door and knocked on the window.

(window rolls down)

Tex: "Thanks for the help."

Cab Driver: "I was paid to do it, but you're wel--"

(punch lands, followed by struggling sounds)

Tex: I punched the little guy and grabbed him by the shirt. I figured this guy knew more than he was telling, and I wasn't about to let him go with just the tiny tidbit he'd fed me.

Tex: "Now you've got three seconds to--"

(punch lands, collapsing sound, and cab speeds away)

Tex: "Oh, give me a break..."

Tex: I lay there for a second. I tried to convince myself he'd gotten lucky, but I was realistic enough to admit to myself I was lucky to get away with my life. I'd forgotten one of the rules I'd written on one of the blank pages of Harley's Rules for Being a Successful P.I.: Never attempt to intimidate a man who weighs three times what you do and looks like he could bench press a bulldozer. I briefly wondered what a guy like that was doing driving a cab, but then I figured I was just woolgathering, and should probably get back to the case.

Tex: I got to my feet. I puzzled over what I had so far. Chance was missing. He owed Kazistanis an artifact. Which one or what it looked like, he wasn't helpful enough to tell me. Then there was the group the cabbie mentioned, the Armageddonists. There was something familiar about the name, but I couldn't quite place it. Then I remembered the most important thing of all...

Tex: "Ohhh, oh, God..."

Tex: I still needed to relieve myself. I hurried to an alley and repainted the wall of a building, above which was a billboard saying, 'Free Yourself From Life's Pressures'. I would've pondered the irony of it, but I had other things to deal with. But first things first, I needed help. I stumbled to the nearest pay-vidphone.

(ringing sound)

Female: "This is a private--Tex? My god, Tex, is that you?"

Tex: "I think so. Nice to see you again, Lucia."

Lucia Pernell: "You may not think so after what I've got to tell you. A policeman just left here, asking about where you were."

Tex: "You sound surprised. I figured you already knew about me being framed for murder, being in the news business."

Lucia: "Oh, I knew. Who do you think wrote the story?"

Tex: "Really? Was the picture of me flattering at least?"

Lucia: "Is that even possible?"

Tex: "I need help, Lucia."

Lucia: "Oh, I don't know, Murphy..."

Tex: "Come on, Lucia, you KNOW I didn't do it."

Lucia: (sigh) "I suppose I do. But the cops know I'm one of your contacts, so make this quick."

Tex: "Have you ever heard of the Armageddonists?"

Lucia: "It sounds familiar. Why?"

Tex: "They've got something, some kind of artifact I have to find if I'll be able to get Chelsee back."

Lucia: "Chelsee...Chelsee Bando? The woman you killed?"

Tex: "I didn't kill her, and she's not dead."

Lucia: "Can you prove that?"

Tex: "Conclusively? Yes. (pause) Maybe. (longer pause) No."

Lucia: "Not much to work with there."

Tex: "Well, I'm fairly positive the remains in what's left of the speeder I spent way too much for were a fake. Is there any way you can track that down as well, maybe get the police off my back?"

Lucia: "I'll interview the detective in charge of the case, and I'll make sure I keep hounding them on whether the body was positively identified. As for the Armageddonists, I'll have to ask around to run it down. Where can I contact you?"

Tex: "You can't. I'll call you back in a few hours, see if you have anything for me by then."

Tex: I hung up, feeling like for once in a great while, I had a glimmer of hope. If all went well, the police would stop hunting me, and Louie would get all his money back. Then the cynical part of me chimed in, reminding me of just how often all went well. I soon realized I was feeling something else. Incredibly hungry.

Tex: Despite the recent luck I've had with taxis, I hailed one and took a trip to the GMG Grand. Nothing sinister happened this time, however, and I partook of an overpriced buffet and a Wayne Newton holo-show. The food was bad, and the show was worse, but I didn't mind, since I was just killing time until I could get back to Lucia. I kept thinking back to what the cabbie had told me.

Cab Driver: "It's not you they want. It's who you WERE."

Tex: Who I was? I was a little wilder back in my college days, but otherwise, I've always been just me. I suppose he could've been talking about reincarnation, but I don't believe in that stuff. Besides, if your life is supposed to get better every time you get reincarnated, I must've spent my past life as a rabid dog.

Tex: After the fifth rendition of Danke Schoen, I decided it'd been long enough for Lucia to come up with something, and headed for the nearest pay-vidphone.

(ringing sound)

Lucia: "Ah, Tex, good timing. I just got back."

Tex: "From where?"

Lucia: "Back Records. Researching these so-called Armageddonists of yours. And before we go any further, I just want to make it clear that you owe me for this."

Tex: "Well, I don't have much in the way of money. Unless my sponsor decides to give me more roulette tips."

Lucia: "Money's not what I want. My senses are pretty good at telling me when I've stumbled onto something big. If you find something out, you're going to tell me everything."

Tex: "If you get me the info I need, and get the police off my back, I'll give you the whole expose AND my firstborn."

Lucia: "I'm not crazy about children, Murphy."

Tex: "Good thing. With all the beatings I've taken, I'll be surprised if I can make babies."

Lucia: "First I say 'Ewww'. Now onto your group. In records, I found a story we did a few years ago about a police raid on a doomsday cult in Las Vegas. The cult was calling itself the Armageddonists."

Tex: "Does it seem to you like we can't go a few days without these doomsday cults springing up everywhere? Any chance this cult was an offshoot of the Crusade for Genetic Purity?"

Lucia: "I don't know, but I don't think so. All police reports from the scene mention they wanted to kill everyone, not just mutants. Anyway, the only thing I could get was the address of where the raid took place. It was a warehouse at 666 Elmwood Avenue."

Tex: "The mark of the beast, huh? Probably why they chose the place. Were they Satanists, then?"

Lucia: "Once again, don't know. I'll keep looking into it. But Murphy, there's one more thing. The police found evidence that another section of the cult existed. They never found it, but they were pretty sure it was somewhere in San Francisco."

Tex: "Thanks, Lucia. I'll call again later."

Lucia: "Keep me informed."

Tex: "I will."

Tex: I hung up, and the glimmer of hope rebirthed itself. Lucia had given me another lead, and now I was also pretty sure that the Armageddonists were the ones who'd kept me prisoner back home. Lucia was right. I was onto something big here, way bigger than Chelsee and me. I wasn't sure whether or not I could stop once I found Chelsee, but fortunately, I didn't have to make that decision just yet. It was time to check out a warehouse.

(sounds of a speeder stopping, door opening and closing, then speeding away)

Tex: After yet another non-sinister trip in a taxi, I arrived at 666 Elmwood Avenue. The lights of the strips of Las Vegas burned like the sun in the distance, for which I was grateful, since it meant I didn't have to check out the place in total darkness. I walked around the outside of the building, looking for signs of life. There was plenty of greenery growing around, but nothing human. I needed to have a look inside, but having been made fairly paranoid by the last few days' events, I looked for a peephole first. There was a broken window in the back, and I noticed as I crept up to it that there was a slight reddish tinge dancing on it, as if there was a flickering red light on inside.

(sounds of almost-inhuman chanting in the distance)

Tex: I took my hat off, and put my eye to the hole in the window. There were eight people, men and women in black robes, standing around a fire. The fire was burning red, not orange, and above it, on a standing grate, was a round object of some kind that was sparkling just like Las Vegas behind me. They were chanting in some strange language I couldn't identify. Hell, I don't even know English that well. All I knew was something very strange was going on here. My skin started crawling like it was looking to change owners and all my hair stood on end. I got the distinct impression I was in serious danger here.

(sound of a footstep in grass)

Tex: I heard something behind me, and spun around. I had just enough time to make out the figure of a man all in black, wearing a ski mask. He spun me back around and covered my mouth with a handkerchief. As the chloroform it was soaked in began to dull my senses, I wondered how the Black Arrow Killer had come back to life, and I went under.

(weird floating sound which persists throughout the scene)

Chelsee's Voice: "Good morning, Captain Donnelly. My name's Susan Thompson. I'm with the OSS. I'm investigating a case concerning a missing artifact. I'm told you're the last person living to have seen it."

Tex as Donnally: "What?"

Susan: "Small round thing, covered in jewels?"

Tex: "Yeah. I know it."

Susan: "Are you feeling up to this? I can come back later, if you like."

Donnally: "No, I'm fine. The wounds are almost completely healed. You ever been shot before?"

Susan: "Thankfully, no. Do you remember where you were when you were shot?"

Donnally: "A mansion of some kind. I didn't know much about it. I was just looking for a place to regroup."

Susan: "I've heard about what happened to your unit. I'm sorry."

Donnally: "Me, too. War is hell, right? Never thought I'd be the only survivor."

Susan: "If you don't want to talk about this right now, I'd understand, but it IS important."

Donnally: "No, I'm okay, really. Anyway, I'd just watched my unit get slaughtered, and I knew the Nazis would be hunting me, so I hid in this mansion. I stepped on something, and a bookcase swung open. I went inside, and saw a whole bunch of treasures. Looked like real big money. This sparkling egg-thing caught my eye, I picked it up. Next thing I know, bang, bang, ow, ow, sleepy, sleepy. And I woke up here."

Susan: "So, you really can't tell me anything more?"

Donnally: "Well, I'm a Pisces. What's your sign?"

Susan: "Cute. Captain, I'm here to make you an offer. From what I know, your war records are outstanding, your psych and intelligence ratings are impressive, and you no longer have a unit to command."

Donnally: "Feel free to keep pouring salt in, darlin', that wound can hold some more."

Susan: "That was not my intention. If you intend to remain with the army, you don't have much to go back to. On the other hand, if you'd like to come work for us, we can put your skills to good use, and you'll get the chance to stick it to some Nazis while you're at it. What do you say?"

Donnally: "What's the pay like?"

Susan: "Crappy."

Donnally: "Hours?"

Susan: "Long."

Donnally: "Benefits?"

Susan: "There's no dental."

Donnally: "I'll consider it."

Susan: "If you decide you'd like to join the OSS, give me a call at this number."

(sounds of footsteps as Susan turns to leave, then stops at the door)

Susan: "If you accept, your first task will be to track down the egg. We think it's important to them somehow, and it's vital we get our hands on it again. Don't lose that number."

(footsteps leave, floating sound disappears to be replaced by the sound of standing water)

Tex: I came to, fresh off another strange dream. I didn't understand any of them, and for the first time I began to wonder whether or not they had anything to do with the case. My head was swimming. Literally, it turns out, as I was underwater.

(sound of Tex struggling, gets his head above water and takes a huge breath)

Tex: Someone had taken me to a basin and dunked my head under the water. As soon as I came up, whoever it was let go, and I got my bearings and looked around, as I shook the water from my face. I was in a huge room, all white walls, computer equipment, people working at terminals. I was in a corner with the water basin, and I wasn't alone.

(sounds of clicking and guns cocking)

Tex: Four men surrounded me in a semi-circle all pointing guns at me, and a fifth man stood unarmed in the center. I recognized him; he was the guy who'd demanded the disc of Chelsee's funeral back at the mansion in San Fran. I looked behind him and saw a flag on the wall at the head of the room. Three bars, white on top, then blue, then red. I recognized it; it was the Russian flag. It was about then that the man from the mansion spoke.

Man: Hello, Mr. Murphy. Welcome to the Casian Faction.

(dramatic music followed by soft trumpet jazz)



Tex - "Was the picture of me flattering at least?"
Lucia - "Is that even possible?"

Post subject: Re: Unauthorized Tex Murphy Radio Theatre Episode 7
Post Posted: Jun 26, 2008 11:02 am
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Joined: Oct 11, 2007 10:01 am
Posts: 14
Location: Virginia Beach, VA, US

Okay, so I'm a little slow in reading all of the posts in this part of the forum... so sue me. Although I'd rather that you didn't - I'm short on cash.

Overall, nice addition. I admire your ability to write a radio-play. I have never been good at those or any other kind of play type of thingy.

I remember the Radio Theatre with fondness - and a little annoyance (CJ and AC left me hangin'...again....arrrggghhh). So it's nice to see someone take up the torch and add their own flavor to the mix.

The only criticism that I have - and it's not a big thing at all - is that some of the dialog seemed forced - particularly Lucia Pernell's.

Overall score (out of 5 stars) : 4.75. I enjoyed it very much. Great work!


I just wish I had a nickel for every brilliant idea I ever had...wait...oh, darn...I do.

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