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Tex Murphy the Private Eye

(Sung to the tune of “Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat”)

Tex Murphy the private eye, the sleuth in the Ritz Hotel!

There’s a whimper from the bed, from a man who looks half dead,
Rumpled clothes strewn all about the place.
Its Tex Murphy the detective,
Feeling quite a bit defective,
Since he started on a brand new case.

From the clues it looked quite simple,
He would solve it very nimble,
Then he’d pocket a good fee.
But then trouble, real bad trouble, overtook him on the double,
But the police just don’t see.

He had found a clever clue and the case was nearly through,
All the evidence then pointed to one man.
But another name appeared, seeing it he truly feared,
He had stumbled on an insane plan!

Then he heard a crash, and he felt a blow,
And the lights then went all dark!
He was found at last on the northern side of the Broadway Tunnel Park.

Tex Murphy the private eye, the sleuth in the Ritz Hotel!

Now it truly can be said, that there is a common thread,
Which run’s through his short career.
Just to solve each little case, he must save human race,
And it’s strange but true that he has no peer.

When in danger Tex must run, for you see he’s lost his gun,
When it is fisticuffs, he is a punching bag.
Though he’s not a ladies man, he dates Chelsee when he can,
His love life’s nothing about which to brag.

True, in the whole world of PI’s, Murphy would never win a prize,
As a detective in the best and brightest.
Yet he does not lack pluck, and he’s often helped by luck,
He's triumphed when his odds were the slightest.

So when evil fiends, put fell plans in place,
To sound the whole world’s death knell!
We know it’s the case, they will have to face,
The sleuth in the Ritz Hotel!

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Take Me Back to Tex!

(sung to the tune of “Take Me Back to Tech”)

It’s great that we will soon be back with Tex on Chandler Ave.
Hunting for little puzzle clues, adventure so to have.
We love his old fedora hat, his wrinkled stained trench coat,
It's been a hard wait these fourteen long years,
Now the new game has been underwrote!
Hurrah for Big Finish Games, Big Finish, Big Finish, oh,
Glorious old Big Finish Games, Big Finish, Big Finish, oh!

Back to the days that were free from care in old Rook Garner’s dingy pawn shop,
There’s nothing to breath but red foggy air and the villains are over the top.
The bad guy’s steady build up of his insensate evil powers!
His leering sneer will make us cheer in these happy days of ours.
Hurrah for Big Finish Games, Big Finish, Big Finish, oh,
Glorious old Big Finish Games, Big Finish, Big Finish, oh!

Take us back via the green screen to that glorious Brew & Stew,
We yearn to get indigestion from old Louie’s “Five Alarm” too.
We’ll shop the quixotic ‘lectronics store, from Chelsee buy the news,
Then toast it all and once again with straight shots of bourbon booze!
Hurrah for Big Finish Games, Big Finish, Big Finish, oh,
Glorious old Big Finish Games, Big Finish, Big Finish, oh!
Yay!

In case you do not know “Take Me Back to Tech”-(which itself is sung to an 1890’s music hall tune called “Solomon Levi”)

"Take Me Back to Tech"

I wish that I were back again at Tech on Boylston Street,
Dressed in my dinky uniform so dapper and so neat.
I'm crazy after calculus, I never had enough;
It's hard to be dragged away so young,
It was horribly awfully tough!
Hurrah for Technology, 'ology 'ology oh,
Glorious old Technology, 'ology 'ology oh!
Back in the days that were free from care in the 'ology varsity shop,
With nothing to do but analyze air in an anemometrical top.
The differentiation of the trigonometric pow'rs
The constant pi that made me sigh in those happy days of ours.
Hurrah for Technology, 'ology 'ology oh,
Glorious old Technology, 'ology 'ology oh!
Take me back on a special train to that glorious institute,
I yearn for the inspiration of a technological toot.
I'd shun the quizzical physical profs the chapel and all that,
But how I'd love to go again on a scientific bat.
Hurrah for Technology, 'ology 'ology oh,
Glorious old Technology, 'ology 'ology oh!
M-A-S-S-A-C-H-U-S-E-T-T-S
(and)
I-N-S-T-I-T-U-T-E-O-F-T-E
(but)
C-H-N-O-L-O-G and Y comes after G
(and what does that spell?)
The Massachusetts Institute of Technology!
Hey!

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Who Needs Sleep?

(Sung to the tune of “We Love Sheep” from the oratorio “Not the Messiah” by Monty Python (Eric Idle, John Du Prez))

“Tex, the Musical!” needs a greek chorus of Mutant Leaguers to comment from the sidelines and help the audience understand what is going on. Imagine them sitting in rows at extreme stage left, each of their right hands on a mouse and their unblinking eyes fixed on computer screens in front of them.............

A disembodied voice (which sounds a lot like James Earl Jones) sings solemnly-

And Mutant Leaguers, sequestered in their rooms,
Playing Tex Murphy games by night……………


The greek chorus members (while continuing to stare at their screens) sing-

We’re Mutant Leaguers, sequestered in our rooms,
Playing Tex Murphy games by night……………


Oh we are Mutant Leaguers, Tex’s games we play,

There's nothing we like better, play them every day,

We play them late into night in concentration deep,

And then we play them once again, cause who needs sleep?

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep! 

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep! 


They’re full of clever puzzles, intellectually quite deep,
But we can solve them all in time cause who needs sleep?


Dum de dum de dum de dum de dum dee dee


We wouldn’t play an arcade game, beep, beep, beep,

And playing chess or board games would make our skin creep,
And watching games on TV is enough to make you weep,

But give us Tex’s games to play and we won’t sleep!

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep! 

Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep!

Tex Murphy’s games are best and now they really are quite cheap,
And we can play them many times cause who needs sleep?


De Dum de dum de dum de dum we don’t need sleeeeeep! Who Needs Sleep?